Well, I'll be polishing "This Earth Dragon Crumbles" for this month. I wasn't satisfied with it, and I'll be re-working on it. Of course, I humbly ask for your help as well. Don't sweat it if you can't help me

I'm mainly looking for tips, suggestions, and ideas. Feel free to ask of me the same, just keep in mind I'm almost a complete amateur at writing

But before that, my friend

would like some comments and help with his poetry. His writing is more romantic skewed than mine, if that helps nudge you over to his gallery.
Anyways...onto the poem. (You can throw your comments on my journal or the original piece here:
[link])
This Earth Dragon CrumblesA pebble, rough and brown.
I gather the earth around me,
as I wake, slowly changing.
Growing wings and tail, taking shape.
I stretch my wings, gently roaring.
The earth reverberates, alerting to my presence.
I protect those that I can, those that cannot defend themselves.
Those that have no where else to turn.
My price, I leave up to you to pay.
All I ask is for you to stand,
stand against your fears, your strife.
To stand up and roar with me.
I am asked to protect precious daughters,
to safe guard the deepest of secrets.
I am asked to watch over dogs, and cats,
even to guard the premises of empty mansions.
People turn to me, asking me.
For help, for advice, for entertainment.
Taking for granted my strength,
never paying attention to my wounds...
I am a protector, I am a guardian.
But even I need help,
help to overcome the pain.
The fear of failure, the fear of success.
People place their hopes and dreams,
their problems and worries.
on my shoulders. That precious cargo.
Dragging me down, crushing my wings.
Plummeting from the sky I cherish,
I roll onto my back, protecting my charges.
To the very last.
I hit the ground, shattering into infinite chips.
At least they are safe,
the hopes and dreams.
I am content, reduced.
A pebble, rough and brown.
Devious Comments
--
Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.
--
Joban
--
The lion within, I roar
I stretch my bow, let arrow soar,
to protect your love.
--
A good photograph is knowing where to stand.
-Ansel Adams
--
"She said that Mr Colenso had "handled the truffles inappropriately" ([link])
--
--
The lion within, I roar
I stretch my bow, let arrow soar,
to protect your love.
--
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei
You're welcome.
--
The lion within, I roar
I stretch my bow, let arrow soar,
to protect your love.
--
The lion within, I roar
I stretch my bow, let arrow soar,
to protect your love.
--
The lion within, I roar
I stretch my bow, let arrow soar,
to protect your love.
--
The lion within, I roar
I stretch my bow, let arrow soar,
to protect your love.
--
--
"From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity."
--
Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.
--
The lion within, I roar
I stretch my bow, let arrow soar,
to protect your love.
--
The lion within, I roar
I stretch my bow, let arrow soar,
to protect your love.
--
even the garden of eden was just a big fancy cage.
cuz you luuuuuv meh! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
--
Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.
--
The lion within, I roar
I stretch my bow, let arrow soar,
to protect your love.
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